Tuesday, January 29, 2008

blog 2- The fire

After Ralph had said we needed a signal fire, the group of boys became tumultuous. Everybody broke into a chaotic run up the mountain. Ralph realized his mistake and took off after them up the mountain, leaving the conch on the ground. I picked it up, and when he turned around to see if I was coming, I gave him a scornful look. He turned back around then continued to catch up with the group. I looked back down at the conch, I felt like I had almost become one with it, almost like we were warped together. The conch was so important to what organization we had left, but right now it meant nothing to any one but me. Though I did not agree with the boy's savage behavior, the urge to be rescued was irresistible. So I headed off after them to make sure they weren't going to do anything stupid. All the other boys moved nimbly up the mountain and made it look easy, but for me this was a difficult task. I had almost caught up to the group when my asthma kicked in and I had to stop for a minute. When I finally made it to the top the boys had already started gathering wood. As I sat there wondering how this whole fire was going to start, the pile grew, and only when they were done did they start to think about the real problem at hand. How do we start it? If there had been any officiousness at all to what they were doing they would have thought of this before they went marching up the mountain. Everybody was embarrassed at how dumb they looked; they had just spent half an hour heaving wood up the hillside while I sat there trying not to laugh. It was Jack who first thought of an idea on how to start the fire, "gimme your specs," he said. "What for?" I replied. "To start the fire fatty, now hand them over." He then snatched them right off my nose and lit the fire with them. Then he gave them back, and I could see again. The fire began to grow and soon it was five meters high and was still growing. "More wood," yelled Ralph. "We need more wood." I told them they were going to burn up the whole Island, but that only made Jack angry and he yelled at me to shut up. Then a spark ignited a bit of creepers and the whole forest began to go up. "See what you've done," I told them. "You've gone and lit the whole Island on fire, what are we going to eat, and if every tree burns to the ground what shall we use as shelter. Don't you see what you've done? You're going to destroy the whole island." I tried to convince them that what they had done was bad, but no one listened even though I had the conch. They just ignored me. So there I sat and wached our food, our shelter and our hope burn to the ground.

3 comments:

Emma Christenfeld said...

Dimitri-
I love the way you state the final line. It sounds really good the way that you put the physical and the mental together. "So there I sat and wached our food, our shelter and our hope burn to the ground." I can really see Piggy watching the island burning. Great job. There are a few editing things like new line when someone speaks but great job.
-Emma

Emma Christenfeld said...

Also, you might want to make the words show up. I.e. putting them in bold/italics, color...

Sky said...

Dimitri-

Your journal entry was so good. It was very descriptive and I could totally picture this whole scene. You did such a great job. Just somethings that you might want to fix is stated above (Emma). When someone speaks it's a new paragraph. Also you don't have to, but a lot of the time when someone is thinking, they put their thoughts in italics. You can do that is you want to. Great job!

-Skylar